Accepting Fate Read online

  Fucking mess. She forced a smile, hoping to infuse enthusiasm into her voice. “Great. So please, let me go back to work. You have my word I will wait for backup if I wind up in a similar situation.”

  His sigh was full of exasperation. “Gwen, does it still hurt?”

  “No.” Which was mostly true.

  “Not what Preston said yesterday. He mentioned you were popping migraine meds like they were candy.”

  “Not injury related. You can blame Aunt Flow for that one.”

  “Why don’t I buy it?”

  “Because you’re a worry wart.”

  “Give it a couple more days, Gwen. I want to make sure you’re at one hundred percent.”

  “You’re going to make me worse by babying me.”

  “You’re not a baby,” he murmured, in a rumble that brought back memories of their brief time together more than a decade ago. He would have been great, if he hadn’t been so in love with Liz. She still remembered the way it ended.

  Quiet sobs woke Gwen. She sat up in Robert’s dark room. He stood by the window, his arms wrapped around himself as his shoulders shook.

  Lightning flashed and he jumped, but he didn’t pull away. She knew he was remembering Liz and their long romance, but Liz was gone. Or so she had thought at the time.

  Silently, she pulled her clothes on and considered sneaking out the door. This wasn’t the first time she found Robert drowning in guilt after making love to her, but she vowed it would be the last.

  After slipping on her heels, she walked to Robert and gently touched his face, pulling his gaze. Tears trailed down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak.

  She shook her head. “Don’t, Robert, please. You’re still in love with Liz. I’ll never compare to her, and that’s all right. I can’t be second in your heart though. So this is the end.”

  “I don’t want you to go,” he whispered.

  “Neither do I, but I don’t want to be the reason you torture yourself either. I’m here if you need me, but not as a lover. I can’t.”

  He gathered her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I wish I were ready.”

  “Me too. You’re a man I can see myself with, but I’m clearly not the woman who holds your heart.”

  Shaking off another past regret, as neither of them was ready for love at the time, she sighed. “Fine. Keep in mind, I can’t be cooped up much longer. I’m losing my fucking marbles.”

  “Have a good night, Gwen.”

  * * * *

  Amanda walked into Shenanigans and found Mike sitting at a booth with his drummer. She slunk off to a dark corner and hid in the shadows.

  She hadn’t gotten used to enhanced hearing yet, but Mike’s deep timbre held a note she could never forget. In dreams, his voice still called to her. She zeroed in on the conversation and watched.

  All other voices, save his old friend’s, melted away. The topic was unexpected. Curiosity burst at what exactly an incubus was.

  Less I know, the better, she reminded herself. Her brother would find a way to take advantage of Jordan, like he used everyone. While unsure what agenda Cole had for Mike, Amanda was certain he had plans for him. Unfortunately, any solution she came up with to protect him, would likely backfire.

  A stunning brunette walked to the table, and Mike smiled up at her with a warmth Amanda missed.

  Mike had been everything to her, until her brother tore it all apart. If she hadn’t witnessed Cole reanimating a corpse, or heard the spirit’s tortured wails as it was brought back into this realm from wherever it had been, she could have had a normal life.

  Shaking off the nightmares, she focused.

  “Evening Mike, Jordan. Good to see you both.” The woman’s focus was on Mike, maybe watching for something in his expression.

  He smiled back at her and she visibly relaxed. “Hey, Isa. Can I get a beer, and whatever Jordan wants?”

  Jordan nodded. “Devil’s Poison.”

  Isa raised an eyebrow in amusement. “You got it.” She reached out to squeeze Mike’s shoulder.

  Amanda closed her eyes and took a slow breath. Five years, and Cole claimed Mike had remained single. Clearly he’d been with women. Mike was hard to resist, and had a tendency toward insatiable.

  A tiny part of her held out hope that he would wait for her to get her shit together. She had, in a way. It took becoming something else to let go of her addiction, but the need for drugs was replaced with a far worse compulsion.

  She slipped into the hallway, thinking about leaving, disappearing again. Going somewhere far away where she could forget all her mistakes. Didn’t matter, Cole would find her. He always did, with promises that he would fix her problems. The truth was, his solutions always made her life worse.

  * * * *

  Leanan slipped into the booth and leaned into Jordan for a slow kiss.

  Mike took that as his cue to use the restroom. Over the last few months, he’d found that if he gave them a couple moments, they mellowed out.

  On a positive note, she was the perfect conversation redirector. He wasn’t ready to share his secrets. Not until he decided what to do.

  He tried to slip past a woman in the hall but she spun around and caught him in an iron grip with one tiny hand. Her blue eyes were tinged red, lips crimson, and her skin was deathly pale. Still, he knew that face.

  Mike’s eyes went wide as Amanda stared him in the eye, a look of horror on her face.

  “Shit,” he muttered, trying to pull away, but she didn’t release him. He felt his power humming to life and quietly warned, “Let me go, Amanda. Things will only get freaky if you stay.” He let out a bitter laugh and tried to step back, but she held him in place.

  She felt different, like she wasn’t human anymore. Either way, he didn’t like the way his hair rose on end at her touch. Or the fact his instinct screamed at him to run.

  “Mike? I missed you. God, I’ve missed you so bad. Can we talk?” Hearing her voice increased his desire to flee.

  Taking a deep breath, he shoved his magic as far down as he could manage and shook his head. “Too late for talking. I can’t.”

  “Never too late. I shouldn’t have left, but we can fix us,” she pleaded.

  “No, we can’t. What we had is dead and gone. Let me go.” He pulled back again and she finally released him as tears filled her eyes.

  Shaking his head, he turned and walked back to the table. He threw down enough cash for drinks and nodded toward the door. “I got to go.”

  Confused, and concerned, Jordan asked, “Want company?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. Need to be alone.”

  Chapter 3

  Unable to sleep, Mike had taken Sasha for a long walk before settling in to sketch all night. Despite running into his first love and heartbreak, she wasn’t the one haunting his every thought.

  He’d drawn picture after picture of the feisty strawberry blonde and her delectable body. He wanted to find her, talk to her, apologize for running. And at the same time, he wanted to keep running, not that she was chasing anymore. That stopped after a week.

  He glanced up at the clock. 10 AM. And I’m not even tired.

  Mike looked over at Sasha who curled up on the end of the couch, her head on his feet. One corner of his mouth lifted. “Want to go for a walk, girl?”

  With a single woof she hopped down. Mike stood, stretching before pulling on a pair of boots.

  He took Sasha to Volunteer Park. Tossed the ball around, then brought her back.

  Still restless, he headed down to Shenanigans and dropped into a seat at the empty bar. Isa came over with a frown. “You disappeared last night.”

  Before he thought to filter himself, the words were out of his mouth. “Ever feel like nothing works in your favor?” Shaking his head, his eyes slid shut. He wanted to smack himself. “Never mind. You have everything you want.”

  Isa tsked. “Didn’t always. Talk to me. What’s up?”

  “Did I ever tell you about
Amanda?”

  “Girl who broke your heart when she left you for the drugs.”

  He gave an amused nod. “Was a bit more complicated than that. She blamed me for her addiction, though I wasn’t why she started.”

  She leaned against the counter. “Why?”

  “Long story. Doesn’t matter.”

  “It’s been years. What made you think of her?”

  “She showed up last night.”

  “Ah. That’s why Jordan was snapping and snarling at the girl in tears. I didn’t hear what was said, but he seemed to be warning her about something.”

  Mike smiled slightly. “I told him I had to go, didn’t say why. He must have seen her and told her not to find me.”

  “You all right?”

  “Yeah.” At least about that, which was a surprising truth.

  She pushed a beer his way. “What happened to that hot little blonde you left my party with?”

  He rubbed his face. “Fuck. I bailed. Now I wish I hadn’t. Or, at least, I’d answered her calls before she gave up on me.”

  Isa shook her head. “You two seemed to hit it off. What happened?”

  “We did. Then she starting prying that first night and I left. Didn’t answer a single call or text.”

  “Can I ask why?”

  And there was the problem. He’d never talked to anyone but his mother and uncle about his other side. Mom was gone, and Tremaine’s advice was to suck it up and accept he wasn’t human.

  Isa peered into his eyes. “Hey, if you need to talk, I’m here.”

  “You can’t help me though. At least, not with this. It’s not that simple. The one who can, told me to fuck off every day this week. I have a feeling I’m going to get a great big fuck you when I show up in person.”

  “Try me. I can believe practically anything now.”

  She probably could. Her power had always lurked under the surface, but since she hooked up with Toryn, it was like a beacon. She finally knew what she was. At least, he hoped she did.

  Whatever they were, it was something other than what he was.

  “I appreciate that. Unfortunately, I don’t even know where to start.” Mike stood, dropped a ten on the counter, and backed toward the door. “Sorry I bothered you.”

  Sighing, her head tipped to the side. “You aren’t a bother, Mike. We’re still friends, and I’ll always listen if you ever want to talk.”

  “I appreciate that, but honestly, Isa, you can’t help with this. I’m not sure anyone can.” With that hopeless declaration, he turned and walked back to his apartment.

  * * * *

  Gwen followed Tremaine through the shelves at A Good Book. “Damn it, Trem. You know me. I need to work. Sitting on my ass all day is driving me fucking nuts. Please, for the love of all that’s magic, convince Robert and Preston to take me off medical leave.”

  Tremaine shoved another book onto the shelf and shook his head. “I’m not the one in charge, Gwen. I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

  She glared up at him. Dark waves haphazardly framed his unshaven face. He looked dangerous. Gwen knew better. He was a beacon of hope, but being difficult, as usual.

  “What do I have to do to convince you to help me?”

  He huffed. “This about the guy who ditched you after the party?”

  “What? No!”

  His brow arched.

  She sighed. “I gave up on him. He never answered any calls, so whatever. The guy had issues anyway.”

  “How so?”

  “No clue. He clammed up when I started asking questions.”

  “Because you’re a nosy twit. Never fails.”

  Crossing her arms over her chest, she glared back at him. “Whatever. Help me and I’ll be out of your hair.”

  The bells rang, and Tremaine slammed his hand on a shelf. He turned to her with narrowed eyes, and whispered harshly, “Take these, put them away, and don’t—whatever the fuck you do—don’t interfere. I need to give this boy some tough love.”

  She hadn’t seen who walked in. They were in the back of the store with no view of the entrance. Tremaine was good, but no one had eyes in the back of their head. Now she was intrigued.

  “Tremaine, I need help. Where are you? I know you’re here.”

  That voice. She immediately recognized the smooth baritone. It haunted her day and night. His fault. Had he given the wrong number, she would have given up sooner. Now, with him there, the challenge was back on.

  “Please,” Tremaine mouthed.

  Lifting a shoulder in a shrug, she nodded. “Sure.”

  His brow arched before he strode to the front of the shop and around the counter. His voice was firm. “I told you, I’m not casting the spells again.”

  Mike’s voice was gentler, but determined. “I need to talk, Tremaine.”

  Gwen sat the books on a shelf and snuck up, staying out of sight.

  * * * *

  Tremaine knew Gwen wouldn’t stay put. Curiosity was her greatest gift and biggest flaw. Not to mention she perked up with a flash of recognition when Mike spoke.

  How the fuck does she know the guy who avoids Others like the damned plague? Then he got to thinking, With her past, maybe she can convince the kid to accept his nature.

  Gwen’s interference might be welcome after all. Mike could use her unique perspective.

  Tremaine stalked to the front and crossed his arms over his chest. “I told you, I’m not casting the spells again.”

  Then the kid surprised him. “I need to talk, Tremaine.”

  “Finally come to your senses?”

  “Getting there. Look, I need to understand.” He let out a frustrated huff. “So talk to me, please.”

  “Okay, kid. I’m ready if you are.”

  “You knew my father. Is there…” Mike sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, “any chance I could wind up like him?”

  Tremaine shook his head once. “Not a single one. You’re not a monster.”

  Mike slumped into a stool and looked out the window. “That’s what she used to call me.”

  “Amanda?”

  He nodded.

  “You’re better off without her. I think you know that.”

  He met Tremaine’s gaze and shrugged. “She showed up last night. Wanted to talk.”

  “And?”

  “I didn’t listen. I left.”

  “Not curious what she has to say?”

  “Nope. She had her good days when she didn’t think I was a freak of nature, but they never lasted. Besides, whatever she is now, she isn’t the same. Being near her makes my skin crawl.”

  Tremaine’s head tipped to the side. He had a bad feeling about the ex. No longer human left a few possibilities. “Need me to find out what she’s become?”

  Mike shook his head. “Nah. I plan to avoid her.”

  “Okay,” he dragged the word out. He might go digging anyway. If she came looking for Mike, chances were she wasn’t going to let him go without saying her piece. “Why are you here?”

  With a deep sigh, Mike scrubbed a hand through his hair. He finally met Tremaine’s gaze straight on. “I’m not ready yet, but what happens if I have you remove my wards? My magic is clawing to the surface. Clearly, I can’t control it anymore. I’m terrified I'll hurt someone.”

  “You’ll learn control. It’s not as hard as you think. With the wards in place you can’t manage it. Not effectively. Without them, you’ll be able to.”

  Frustrated, Mike heaved a sigh and glanced up at the ceiling. “Then why did you lock them up in the first place?”

  He often asked himself that same question. Usually, when Mike showed up begging him to take his magic away again. Tremaine still remembered the first time he met Mike and Roxy.

  Tremaine’s sister, or half-sister, the one no one knew about, rushed into the bookstore minutes before closing. She had a baby in her arms and a small boy of three or four beside her. “Need your help, Trem. You’re going to hate it, but I’m begging.”

 
; His eyes widened as he looked down at the young boy who watched him with a fierceness no toddler should possess. He glared as if daring Tremaine to make a move. Something familiar stared back at him.

  “Shit, Evie, what the hell is going on? I haven’t even heard from you in years. Who knocked you up?”

  “William. He’s getting close. He can sense their magic. I bound mine but I can’t bind theirs. Please, help me lock theirs away until they can defend themselves.”

  “You’re running from William?” he asked with a raised brow. She’d been so in love with that prick, she ran away with him. Disappeared off the face of the Earth.

  “Okay, you were right,” she snapped. “Happy now? He’s never going to see my children. Please, help me so he can’t find them.”

  “Binding will make things more difficult. What happens if he finds you? They won’t be able to defend themselves.”

  She wiped at her eyes. “He won’t find us if there is no magic to trace. Please, Trem. I need your help. The fucker broke my heart, and I know what he would do to my babies. I won’t let him have them. I won’t let him turn them into his brand of demented monsters.”

  “Why me?”

  The pain in her eyes, and desperation in her voice, were what convinced him. “You’re the only one who can. Please. Help me save my family.”

  There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Evelyn. She’d always been a bright spot in his turbulent past. He muttered, “I’m going to regret this. It’s not the right choice.”

  “It’s the only choice.”

  Sighing, he shook his head. “One day, they’ll have to know.”

  She nodded. “One day, perhaps.”

  Mike cleared his throat, bringing Tremaine back to the here and now. “You’ve said before you don’t agree with my mother having our powers bound. If that’s true, why did you?”

  “Because she begged me. She was carrying Roxy, who was a tiny baby, and you were maybe three, glaring up at me like you were ready to rumble if I hurt your mother.” He half-laughed.